Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Change
I don't handle change that well... neither does most people I know. I also don't care for surprises... I am a planner... I like to know what I'm doing and when I need to do it. Life isn't like that though. There have been countless times that life has thrown me a curve ball... and I know it will happen again.
I am reading this really great book by Beth Moore called So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us. There is a section in there that talks about change and how these changes can cause insecurities in people. I am going to quote what she says... because it is so good...
"The truth is, God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. I hate to display such a firm grasp on the obvious, but how will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are? God is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started (Phil. 1:6), and that process means one major thing: change." Page 80
She goes on to quote this scripture...
Don't be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. James 1:16-18, NLT
Change is good for us. We all have gone through change... bad or good. Lose of a job, birth of a child, a move, health issues, a promotion... and so on. Change shows us that we need to depend on God. Change is what He uses to grow us into the people He has called us to be. Change builds character and teaches us to persevere. Change is hard and it calls us to have to ask for help and trust in others.
I look back on my life and many things have led me to where I am today... but I know I wouldn't be where I am today if I fought those changes. There comes a point that I have to let go and let God handle it... and if it calls for me to lose, then I know in the end I will win, and if it calls for me to give... then I know God will take care of me.
God knows what He is doing... He is shaping my life... and I am His prized possession!
I am reading this really great book by Beth Moore called So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us. There is a section in there that talks about change and how these changes can cause insecurities in people. I am going to quote what she says... because it is so good...
"The truth is, God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. I hate to display such a firm grasp on the obvious, but how will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are? God is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started (Phil. 1:6), and that process means one major thing: change." Page 80
She goes on to quote this scripture...
Don't be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. James 1:16-18, NLT
Change is good for us. We all have gone through change... bad or good. Lose of a job, birth of a child, a move, health issues, a promotion... and so on. Change shows us that we need to depend on God. Change is what He uses to grow us into the people He has called us to be. Change builds character and teaches us to persevere. Change is hard and it calls us to have to ask for help and trust in others.
I look back on my life and many things have led me to where I am today... but I know I wouldn't be where I am today if I fought those changes. There comes a point that I have to let go and let God handle it... and if it calls for me to lose, then I know in the end I will win, and if it calls for me to give... then I know God will take care of me.
God knows what He is doing... He is shaping my life... and I am His prized possession!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Lack of Control
I think we all want some sort of control over our own life.... and for some that means a degree of control in our homes and in our work place. Half the time I feel like I lack control in anything... with my son... I can try to 'make' him do things... or act a certain way... but the fact is... he has his own mind. He wants independence and he is going to push his limits with me. I have to admit that there are times when I 'give up'... I just don't want a battle, (not wise.)
This reaction is true in other areas of my life as well. When it comes to discussing things with my husband... there are times where I 'let it go'. In some ways... I really trust that he knows best. Then there are times where, again, I just don't want a battle, (not wise.)
When it comes to any place that I have worked... I can be a bit of an over achiever. I work hard. I push myself until I am on the verge of a burn out, (not wise.) I have always felt like the work place was a place that I had to prove myself. I have always had a hard time saying no. In most jobs I have worked myself up to high positions to have that control. The thing is... I am not just trying to prove myself to others... I am trying to prove myself to me... "I can do it!", "I am valuable"... Even in this place in my life... I have little control. There is always something to knock be back on my bottom.
The fact is, I can push and fight all I want for control and there may be times where I feel I have it, but I don't. I know in my heart that God is the one in control. I am actually very thankful for that... He knows better then I.
This reaction is true in other areas of my life as well. When it comes to discussing things with my husband... there are times where I 'let it go'. In some ways... I really trust that he knows best. Then there are times where, again, I just don't want a battle, (not wise.)
When it comes to any place that I have worked... I can be a bit of an over achiever. I work hard. I push myself until I am on the verge of a burn out, (not wise.) I have always felt like the work place was a place that I had to prove myself. I have always had a hard time saying no. In most jobs I have worked myself up to high positions to have that control. The thing is... I am not just trying to prove myself to others... I am trying to prove myself to me... "I can do it!", "I am valuable"... Even in this place in my life... I have little control. There is always something to knock be back on my bottom.
The fact is, I can push and fight all I want for control and there may be times where I feel I have it, but I don't. I know in my heart that God is the one in control. I am actually very thankful for that... He knows better then I.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Dreams and Wants
I have to admit I don't feel like I have a lot of 'dreams.' I have plenty of 'wants' although I try not to think about those because I don't want to be selfish.
Growing up I had the dream of being a singer. I knew that whoever I married would also be a musician. I did marry someone who plays strings and loves music as much as I do. Am I a singer... um... in my car. The only other dream I had was to marry a man who loved God and who would love me.... I got that.
I want to dream again.... I just don't know how... or what to dream for... I guess I am waiting on God to give me those dreams.
My wants and desires are there in my face... some of those, most of those, make me feel selfish.
I want to be a great wife... I want to be everything my husband wants and needs.
I want to be a great mother to my son. I good mixture of mother/friend.
I want a nice home.
I want to be healthy (which means... dropping some weight.)
I want to be out of debt... and not have to stress over money.
These things don't seem selfish....
Then there are things that I want, that I try not to talk about... material things (selfish, I know)... new car, new furniture.... etc. I even still have the desire for another baby... (comes and goes.. crazy, I know.) These wants and desires have caused issues between my husband and I... There have been times that I have caused him to feel like I'm not happy... and that he isn't providing enough. That isn't my intent at all. My husband works his butt off, in a burnt out job, that he really doesn't like. He is an amazing father. I love watching him with our son. He has what a lot of men don't when it comes to interacting with children. Some people say he is the kind of man that should have a house full of kids. He is also a wonderful husband. He puts up with me. He doesn't care if the house is perfect... or if I have dinner on the table. All he wants is time... he loves not being on a schedule... and just being able to be together as a family.
I know we are all selfish in our own ways... we all have to 'grow up' in different areas of our life.
I don't want to be viewed by anyone, especially by those I love, as selfish. I have tried not to have any 'wants' at all. I am happy with my life. I am blessed in so many ways. God has always taken care of us. I wouldn't trade anything in my life.
Growing up I had the dream of being a singer. I knew that whoever I married would also be a musician. I did marry someone who plays strings and loves music as much as I do. Am I a singer... um... in my car. The only other dream I had was to marry a man who loved God and who would love me.... I got that.
I want to dream again.... I just don't know how... or what to dream for... I guess I am waiting on God to give me those dreams.
My wants and desires are there in my face... some of those, most of those, make me feel selfish.
I want to be a great wife... I want to be everything my husband wants and needs.
I want to be a great mother to my son. I good mixture of mother/friend.
I want a nice home.
I want to be healthy (which means... dropping some weight.)
I want to be out of debt... and not have to stress over money.
These things don't seem selfish....
Then there are things that I want, that I try not to talk about... material things (selfish, I know)... new car, new furniture.... etc. I even still have the desire for another baby... (comes and goes.. crazy, I know.) These wants and desires have caused issues between my husband and I... There have been times that I have caused him to feel like I'm not happy... and that he isn't providing enough. That isn't my intent at all. My husband works his butt off, in a burnt out job, that he really doesn't like. He is an amazing father. I love watching him with our son. He has what a lot of men don't when it comes to interacting with children. Some people say he is the kind of man that should have a house full of kids. He is also a wonderful husband. He puts up with me. He doesn't care if the house is perfect... or if I have dinner on the table. All he wants is time... he loves not being on a schedule... and just being able to be together as a family.
I know we are all selfish in our own ways... we all have to 'grow up' in different areas of our life.
I don't want to be viewed by anyone, especially by those I love, as selfish. I have tried not to have any 'wants' at all. I am happy with my life. I am blessed in so many ways. God has always taken care of us. I wouldn't trade anything in my life.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
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